I’m having some very positive thoughts today about life. Constructive, happy, forward thinking plans. Everything slotting into order.
However, at the moment, I am lying in bed with a very sore back. A headache. My guts are still playing up too. Lexi is in the room next to me also sick with a winter lurgi.
On the positive side, I am in love with my wife. My daughter is the reason I live. We have a great house in the hills. We have some cash to fix and renovate some of the niggling problems in the garden and surrounds and we’ve just done them now too. Better security, more trees, and fixed the front gate too.
Just bought the car of my dreams. My career (at least my part in it) is running along very well. Been selected as a judge for a huge Chinese art competition. I have a large studio profile feature about to be posted. Arrived home from SIGGRAPH in LA two weeks ago and this was, apparently, quite a successful trip.
On the home front again though I keep wanting to be more of a volunteer. My time with the Country Fire Authority (CFA) was great, and the sense of community and purpose was inspiring. But I simply could not give enough time to the cause. I was always going overseas for work during the training, although I did pass very well. But after I qualified, I was still spending too much time away or unavailable. The lack of support from home also was a worry. In the end I simply had to resign. I missed too much to be of any use on the truck, though I felt the guys down there all seemed to think I was OK to give it a run.
Last year 176 people died in forest fires in our area. Every time I hear the siren go off down the hill, I’d be stuck without transport to get there, in the middle of something crucial to happiness at home(!), or just about to go to work. And work didn’t support me AT ALL. I remember the first time I mentioned I was doing CFA. They totally bit my head off about it. ‘What are we going to do if you get killed?’
I’m doing what I think is needed from the community to assist, and this is the reaction from the people I need support from. I cannot completely blame other people though. I have some trauma issues after 1983 when the same thing happened. Got too close.
Anyway, I may be sick in bed but I’m online working with my laptop on my knees. Talking to people in LA and Brazil right now. Sitting here with my daughter, snivvely with colds, I know I am the happiest, luckiest guy in the world.